After I got into recovery, every fall I would take a time out for myself and go on a weekend retreat.  It was a designated time for me to stop and reflect on where I had been, where I was at now, and where I hoped to be going in the future.  In High School , I was such a "goody two shoes" (an expression coined by one of my brother's in his somewhat negative description of me) that I would never dare to cut a class. It was a true sign of health for me as I grew in my recovery that I was able to skip my group assignment at the retreat I was at and secretly sneak out to the lake with my guitar to write this song.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude for all that had transpired in my life to date, and the need to express that in a song just flowed out of me like a dam that had just been freed of all its debris. 

Oh looking back, I can see so clearly
that You were there, loving me so dearly

And all those times that I was scared and trembling
You held me close and took away my fears
And all those times that I was lost and broken
You came to me and wiped away my tears

Oh looking back, I can see so clearly
that You were there, holding me so gently

And all those times that I was making choices
You took my hand and guided me Your way,
And all those times that I felt sad and lonely
You always cared You never went away

Oh looking back, I can see so clearly
that You were there You never ever left me

And all this time that I've been making changes
Oh, You've been there to help me trust my feelings
And all this time that I've been growing stronger
You held me up and graced me with Your healing

Oh looking back, I can see so clearly
that You were there just loving me so dearly
Yes, looking back, I can see so clearly
that You were there just holding me so gently
Oh looking back, I can see so clearly
I opened up and let Your love flow through me
I'm looking back and I can see so clearly
that You were there You never ever left me
I'm looking back