This was written for my mother and given to her as a Christmas gift. Though it seemed to help ease some of the tension between us for a while, it did not prove to be the bridge for the connection I so badly desired. It did however, bring me some peace in knowing I had done what I could to try and tell her how I felt about all that had happened to me and how I had finally come to terms with it.  It was also very important to me that she hear me tell her that I did not blame her anymore, and that I knew in my heart she did the very best she could with what she had.

As I look back and think of all the time that has gone by
through the pain of all the tears I often wondered why
I never thought I'd reach the place that I was searching for
I never dreamed that it would be inside me, inside of me.

I needed time and space to work things out in my own way
and even though it hurt I hope you'll understand some day
as I let go of all the rage, my spirit set me free
to experience the peace inside me, inside of me
I finally found the comfort in the safety of  a place deep
    inside me, inside of me.

I understand that you can never be just what I need
but I accept and know today you did what I believe
to be the best with what you had, you gave what love you could
and as I open up I feel the love inside me, inside of me.

To forgive is something that I thought I'd never feel
but by the loving grace of God the wounds inside have healed
No longer do the secrets of my past imprison me
I've been released to feel the joy inside me, inside of me
I've come to know forgiveness in a place that rests within my sould
     inside me, inside of me.
I never thought I'd reach the place that I was searching for
I never dreamed that it would be inside me, inside of me.

I finally feel the love and joy that I've been longing for
I'm home at last to rest with peace inside me
to rest with peace that lives inside of me.